"Repent of Doubt"
Have you ever felt that the Lord is calling you to do something you are uncomfortable with? Calling you to a place where you've never gone and you're not really sure if you really want to go? I have found that when He's calling me to those unfamiliar places, He's really calling me, deeper into His presence.
This last year I heard the Lord calling me to 3 foreign and distinct places. Now when I say "places", I'm not talking about physical places. I'm talking about that place He takes you deep within your soul, that place of refiner's fire. It's a place of reflection, deep thought, and absolute dependance upon Him to teach you what He wants you to learn. It's a place of stretching you far beyond your own capabilities.
The first place He called me, was to a place I had made within my own heart and mind... a place of doubt.
Have you ever struggled with doubt? I'm talking about there is a huge, massive mountain of an issue in front of you kind of doubt. I struggled with this towards the end of last year. I struggled deep. My mountain had been around for a long time and every time I looked at it, it just seemed to get bigger! I believed in God and His power. I believed in miracles... so I thought, but I was facing a problem that I couldn't solve. I was facing a mountain that was blocking my view of God... because I let it. I started focusing so much on the mountain and the more I focused on how big, how ugly, how wide, how tall and deep that mountain was, the more my doubt grew in God's ability to remove it. And that's when I heard His voice....
"Repent of Doubt."
It was so quiet, so gentle... but it stopped me in dead in my tracks. I was actually at dinner with friends and I had stepped away to the restroom, and that's when He spoke. In a moment I realized that my doubt had turned into fear. It had crippled my faith. I didn't believe that God was bigger than my mountain. I'd been walking around talking and saying, 'oh yes God can fix this, He'll work this out, He will provide...' but my doubt overruled. See, God had big things planned for me the following year, but in order for me to fully step into that plan, I had to carve out all doubt from my heart, soul and mind to make room for what He had planned next. Repenting of doubt meant releasing fear. I had to trust beyond my understanding, and in all reality, I had to learn to trust Him again. I had to go to a place of vulnerability. It was uncomfortable. I had made a bed in doubt and didn't want to leave. Leaving meant trusting and I didn't know if I knew how to trust... really trust, so I chose to.
In Proverbs 3:5-6 He says to
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not unto your own understanding; in ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.
I had to remove ALL doubt because it's impossible to trust God with ALL of your heart if 75% of it is consumed with doubt. Therefore, if the majority of your heart is consumed with things not of Him, you will be left to lean on your own understanding. When you lean on your own understanding, it's impossible to acknowledge Him in ALL of your ways, because it's like having one foot in the door and one foot out. God didn't say, 'Trust Me with some of you heart.' He didn't say, 'Trust me with most of your heart.' He said, "Trust me with ALL of your heart." The Hebrew meaning of the word 'all' is "in it's entirety", meaning there is no room for anything else! By allowing doubt to reside in my heart I was prohibiting the Lord from directing my path, for I couldn't acknowledge Him in all my ways if I was still acknowledging... doubt.
God is a God of order. In Corinthians 14:40 He says, "Let all things be done decently and in order". He had great plans for me ahead, but He first needed to deal with my doubt, for He needed all of my heart to accomplish the good work in which He had started. God was directing my path to Trust Him with the entirety of my heart because He was leading me into a place of waiting, and through that season of waiting He would then take me to a place of forgiveness, and that place of forgiveness, would lead to a place of restoration & peace.
What is God telling you? Have you heard His voice recently? Do you have a mountain in front of you that has blocked your view of Him? If you doubt His ability to heal, restore, redeem, or come through for you in your time of need, simply ask Him to forgive you. He has great plans for you.
Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.
His plans are not to harm you, but to bring you peace. If you hear Him calling... follow Him, deeper into His presence.